If you read anything about my post regarding Thanksgiving and the turkeys, my Dad's non profit does have turkeys for Christmas so that's awesome. Something positive to start the day with right? They are getting them right now. I'll post on Facebook too!
So let's go back to the edger and my story, shall we? Again, that was at the very end of July at that time I was still at the Y and working, (so much has changed.) Thinking nothing of the shaking I headed into a meeting the next day. It was a standard Tuesday meeting, nothing too special. We began to talk about a project and my arm started to shake uncontrollably. I was embarrassed. It was so bad actually that I started to moved it under the table so that no one would see it. I tried to stop it with my hand but it wouldn't stop shaking. And then something weird-er (is that a word?..yeah?) happened. My leg shook a little too, and then everything on the left side went numb and my face tingled and went numb and my lips went numb. And the whole room looked weird and odd and I felt like I was in a dream. I thought that maybe I was having a heart attack or something. But I felt no pain.
At a certain point others were noticing and I think I made it through most of the meeting (if not all, because I am just a moron like that) I looked at my boss and said something weird like, "I think something neurological is happening." And in her caring TKOB fashion said, "Go! Take care of you, go to the hospital," So I decided it made sense to drive myself to urgent care, IDIOT!
I called my mom, who was with the baby, and told her what was going on, she said I should probably go to the hospital, but I said I'll check in with urgent care. Yeah urgent care wouldn't even take me, they said that I might be having a heart attack, so they told me to go to the hospital. Oddly, no one called me an ambulance at this point. So...I drove myself home (I know I'm still scared typing this) and decided I should change my clothes and then checked myself into the ER all by myself. I did call my husband on the way (he was in his first or second week of work).
My arm began to shake again. I was all by myself and terrified. I thought, what if I am having a heart attack, what if I am having a stroke and I'm all alone. I got checked in and began to cry. They didn't waste any time and ran a bunch of tests. They diagnosed me with some kind of shaking disorder. They wanted me to stay the night but I was fielding emails from work in my hospital bed and I didn't want to miss work - IDIOT! So I told the doctor that as long as I get in to see a neurologist the very next day would he let me go? He agreed.
I saw a neuro the very next day, I thought to myself, what service! LOL. And he ordered an EEG and MRI right away. I was able to get in for the EEG (that thing from Ghostbusters that the keymaster wears with all of the wires - not exactly as pictured above - I have a little more hair.) I completed that test and didn't know any results just yet.
The following Wednesday my neuro scheduled my MRI. I had never had one, so I had no idea what to expect. I scheduled it near to the end of my workday so that I didn't need to miss any work. He wanted to see results with and without contrast. In case you've never had an MRI with contrast means that they put ink in your body to see if there are any extra masses or things that shouldn't be there - just in case that's what's causing all of the commotion. He said he was looking for anything from nothing to epilepsy to MS. So he needed all of these workups. I just went along - what else could I do?
I proceed to a special MRI center, I filled out a ton or paperwork, signed my life away, answered a bunch of questions about metal, Couldn't remember if I had any fillings and had images of my teeth being ripped out of my mouth. But the wonderful woman comforted me and said that everything would be fine and it was a painless procedure and that I was young, we'd be in and out and everything would be okay. I believed her. Ignorant IDIOT!
(Here's a little setup) What I know now...that I didn't know then is that one of my triggers is noise. I had no idea how loud MRI's are...or that they basically rock your world sound-wise. Okay...I'll continue.
So, she shows me how it all works and tells me that I have to wear this helmet (super cute) and that there will be sounds (oh were there sounds!) and not to move or swallow and to press this bulb if I do and to also press the bulb if I have a problem and it shouldn't take too long...and here we go.
Ok. I close my eyes. I start to feel weird again. Almost right away.
The sounds start. Voom Voom Voom Voom Voom.
Don't swallow.
Why are my legs shaking? ---- Press the bulb.
The attendant walks over and asks me why I pressed the bulb. I told her my legs are shaking. She looks down and sees that they are still shaking. She grabs another blanket and asks if that helps. She then asks if I want to stop. I say no. She say tells me that she doesn't think the shaking will effect the MRI because my head is still so we can continue. I'm thrilled because it means I don't have to miss anymore work - IDIOT!
So, she goes back to her booth. She repeats the same section so I hear the same frequency where she was the last time only she does it a little bit longer, this time my legs aren't shaking they start jumping off the table, then, seconds after they are jumping the loss of control moves to the rest of my body and I can't even really explain the rest because I don't remember. It's the first time I've ever had a seizure.
I came to, because I must have only been out a few seconds-which actually isn't the norm. And she asked me why I didn't tell her I have seizures. I told her I didn't know. She said we better stop. I told her no. I really didn't want to reschedule. I really didn't want to miss another day of work. IDIOT!!!!!
She went to look for her radiologist to see what she should do and she couldn't find him so she told me that that she would try one last time. I'll be kind here and say that that was not a wise choice.
She strapped me in - another seizure. This time the radiologist walked in and saw it, he said she just had a Gran Mal seizure and he called 911. I actually asked him not to for some weird reason.
I think I answered a call from work in the ambulance. So dumb.
I'll stop here for now. Brock's gotta eat -er well I need to need to turn on some Christmas music and sing at him while he throws food on the floor :) Maybe I'll add a a video of that...it's pretty hilarious - especially in my "I'm-disabled-stay-at-home-mom-ridiculous-combo-of-clothes-uniform" Although I don't own crocs, should I get crocs?Still to come - the diagnosis - temporary memory loss - deafness - job loss - more ER visits -dealing with doctors offices for paperwork - loss of friendship and so much more...
But the heros of this story are here too, the family and friends who continue to offer support even when I'm so deep down in the hole I've decided I'm camping out there for a while...they keep throwing down ropes hoping I'll grab hold. Even when I don't grab hold, please keep offering, knowing that you are there keeps me going, some days it feels like it's the only thing besides my sweet family. All of your calls, messages and facebook posts, they make my world feel bigger and brighter. Thank you.
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